People should park further away from where they put out vibes.

by Salamander Davis | July 5th, 2010

Our cars give away our secrets. A line-backer sized man with tattoos on every visible appendage walks into the coffee shop. I would not want to encounter him in a dark alley. He leaves and gets into a maroon Kia. Cover blown.

Reading the newspaper is a square-jawed forty year old man with skinny jeans and one of those (insert that big GRE word that means “is everywhere”, I think its ubiquitous) big-square plaid shirts that all the L.A. hipsters wear. I can’t decide whether or not I want to be like him when I grow up. He walks across the street and pulls away in a Crown Vic. Douche bag.

Woman in “keepin’ it green” t-shirt plops down next to me. She pulls her personal coffee mug out of her cloth Trader Joe’s grocery bag and sneers at my paper cup. After an hour of being more eco-friendly than the rest of us, she walks down the block, and when she thinks no one is looking, hops into a Range Rover. Oh really.

I sit here with my newly acquired Mac, wearing sweatpants, gold New Balances, a blue Sizzler shirt, and a green and white striped cardigan. Don’t let me forget to tell you about my knee-high argyle socks and mustache. It is not as impressive as the hipsters’ I’ve seen with surpluses of testosterone, but it’s nothing to scoff at. I’ve got a ‘murse’ chilling at my feet that holds all the essentials: SLR camera, pink and green sunglasses, Moleskin journal, What is the What by Dave Eggers. When I leave I will walk past the two blocks of empty parking spots and around the corner before I get in my Hyundai.

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One Response to “People should park further away from where they put out vibes.”

  1. Welcome to the world of Macs. Awesome insight on your trip. Enjoyed the pictures and captions. Hope all is well. Look forward to hearing more adventures soon. dugan

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