Three Run-On Sentences Supporting my Mantra of Talking to Every Decent Girl I Encounter

by Salamander Davis | August 15th, 2010

I hate it when a leggy and cute Jewish girl wearing short red shorts that you probably wouldn’t date, but who knows, sits down nine feet away from you at the coffee shop and starts talking about “mirror neurons,” something you read about a week ago in a marketing book, with her friend and you are too far away to blurt out your knowledge of mirror neurons without drawing the attention of everyone in the establishment and you’re too much of a sissy to get up and sit down next to her and regale her with your knowledge of the human brain.

It’s frustrating when sexy six-foot-three security guard women with middle-of-the-back pig-tails from Germany wink at you and then disappear from your life before you gain the balls to flirt with them and when the girl you’ve been secretly pining over all day because there is no one else to pine over leaves with some other dude and doesn’t have the courtesy to say goodbye.

I want someone to eat at these cute little road-side restaurants with on a Saturday that I don’t have to ask if they’ll go, it will just be given that she’ll will and we won’t have to worry about the conversation being dull because it won’t be or whether or not I am picking her up or meeting her there because we will already be together when we wake up.

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